The mask continues to come off. Men who wield great political power in public, yet yield masculine impotency in private.
The latest revelation is of White House staff secretary to the President and his past history of abusive behavior to two ex-wives. This is a man who is privy to the most classified documents of this country, did not have full national security credentials and was still hired for over a year in spite of serious domestic violence issues in his portfolio.
The real story is the network of men in the white house who hired and allowed him to stay on in his taxpayer-funded job in spite of knowing his history. Although Rob Porter has resigned, his protection by way of ill-chosen press releases in defending him remain.
I’m not going to go through the list of powerful people who are responsible for enabling a man who beats women to exist freely in their work environment. It’s a list not significant for its length of names as much as for the power their titles they possess. Amid the crises, a speechwriter for the president has also resigned to avoid his own past domestic violence history from being revealed by the press.
The cover of protection given to abusers from other men is an abomination. Weak men protecting weaker men. Whether in law enforcement, politics or the clergy, the history of abusers being protected by other men by some secret code of weak masculinity is key to breaking the vicious cycle of domestic violence.
Weak men prosper when good men do nothing. As a man, if your male friend is an abuser then he’s a loser. No friendship with a man is worth compromising your integrity for. We are all our brother’s keeper, but he’s no brother when you give him cover for domestic and sexual abuse. The weakest brotherhood is the one that protects dysfunctional and abusive behavior. The strongest brotherhood is the one dedicated to protecting women and children from the abuser.
We do this by giving him no place to hide. No light to glory in. No enabling to pursue his enterprise. No denial of his dysfunction. In so doing, he is then forced to run or be revealed to the greater public. He is forced to get help or get hopping on the first train out of town.
Until he genuinely repents and actively seeks professional help for his dysfunction, all care, and compassion must be reserved for the victim. Abuse is a crime of cowardice. Let all crimes be met with legal conviction and subsequent incarceration. As such, let prison walls be the abuser’s real cover.
The National Domestic Violence 24HR Hotline – 800.799.SAFE (7233)
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence – http://www.ncadv.org
Men Against Violence Against Women – http://www.mavaw.org
Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence – https://gcadv.org
National Domestic Violence Registry – https://www.domesticviolencedatabase.net
DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence – https://www.dccadv.org
Los Angeles DV Programs – https://www.domesticshelters.org/los-angeles-ca-domestic-violence-help