truthful perceptions: virus…

A dislocated nose, busted ear drum, bruises, black eyes seem par for the course in beatings that lasted over four years for one noted survivor in Mobile County, Alabama. Her drug addicted husband had decided he was going to beat, abuse and bruise her when he was both high and not high and seemingly blaming her for both.

Had he not overdosed, her fate more likely than not would have fed the statistics of either homicide or homelessness caused by abuse. Battered women shelters now serve more children than they do women. It is estimated in some small cities in America, battered women’s shelters are more populated with children than the Children’s Hospitals in those cities.

There are so many causes of peril, sadness, disease and charity to support in this world. There truly is no excuse for us not to, other than for lack of trying. I AM aligned with three major causes. Stopping Gun Violence, The Alzheimer’s Association and Domestic Violence Awareness.

88 guns for every one hundred Americans and the insanity of needless deaths caused by them is my reason for stopping gun violence. Alzheimer’s disease ran rampant in my family taking the lives of six paternal Aunts and my maternal Grandfather. That is my reason in joining that cause.

Although there is never been an issue of domestic violence in my family, I AM motivated for just that reason. To know from experience that women are to be protected by men from the men who are true cowards for abusing them. As the bearers of our future it is critical to bring awareness and formulate solutions to the plague of domestic violence. In my mind there is no greater threat to civilized society than to ignore the virus of genocide domestic abuse produces.

Find A Domestic Violence Shelter By Zip Code:

https://www.domesticshelters.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: aid…

A leader is a person who takes action to better the lives of those under his/her influence. He takes the necessary time to reflect on those things essential to the quality of life of each and every individual. This should naturally lead him to utilise a variety of sources of power to employ compassion and apply the resources necessary to achieve harmony within the nation.

Sadly, the current president we have in the white house does not represent these values as a leader and based on his history with women is factually devoid and woefully impotent of them. By signing off on a draconian budget removing the legal resources that help aid victims of domestic violence, he shows the world his real character when it comes to protecting the women and children of this country.

Helping domestic violence survivors have access to legal protection would seem a no-brainer for obvious reasons, especially an organization like the Legal Services Corporation that provides this type of assistance to domestic violence victims and survivors in virtually every state. President trump is planning to defund the entire organization. All Americans truly interested in fighting back against this travesty should flood the telephone lines of their representatives in congress and the senate.

Raise holy hell on behalf of low-income victims of domestic violence who endure hell each and everyday and need all of the free legal assistance available. Let’s not simply sigh, moan and complain. Let’s stand up for victims and survivors, take action and fight!

https://theintercept.com/2017/03/20/donald-trump-plans-to-eliminate-legal-aid-funding-that-supports-survivors-of-domestic-violence/

Find Your Representative:  http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

 

 

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: gratitude…

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There are a million bits and pieces of information that make up the experiences of a Man’s life. Most are often forgotten in the blink of an eye. Others are much more traumatic, joyful, significant and mournful to the memories held on to for a lifetime.

The balance of equity for most men of integrity regardless of race, religious belief system or background is to practice either by the minute, the hour, the day or even once a week is a time of reflection to be thankful.

It costs nothing and yet yields the biggest personal returns. This is a character trait most promising to know that a poor man is made rich by it, and a rich man is made poor without it.

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It grounds you in ways to keep you safe from the arrogance of the batterer mindset. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Pastor or a Police Officer, the arrogant mindset of the physical batterer and verbal abuser remain the same.

One of thinking he is untouchable by virtue of his vocation and somehow immune from any conviction of conscience because it is both neutralized and patronized by his service to the community.

That somehow his livelihood qualifies him to live a secretive lifestyle free of condemnation in beating his wife/intimate partner. Nothing could be further from the truth for we know the universal law speaks to the heart of the matter: “To whom much is given, much is required.”

So on this Thanksgiving Day, may we as men take the time to truly search our hearts for any level of abusive behavior we have towards our wife/intimate partner, and begin the changing process with the best weapon of all, gratitude…

MUSIC: It’s This Place…” by Russel Blake.

 

truthful perception: grandchildren…

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As Men, we can find no greater responsibility in life than being a parent to our children. Much too often we tend to minimize our impact on their thinking and the subsequent attitudes they carry throughout their lives. We much too often underestimate how much we dynamically impart upon them by our daily speech, behavior, work ethic and religious beliefs to what type of Man or Woman they will eventually grow into.

Of course peer pressure and other societal factors will influence them, but for the most part while they are in the most impressionable stages of life, we as their Father’s play a most significant role in how they will interpret masculinity.

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A power relay is a type of conduit that can handle the high power required to directly control an electric motor or other loads is called a contactor. Look at this comparison:

Our children are a type of conduit that handles the high intensity of abusive drama in the home and quite often directly cope with the trauma of these events through emotional scarring and suppression. In most cases, over a period of time this suppression will emerge to rear itself in multiple ways.

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In girls, it could ironically manifest in seeking a mate with the same personality characteristics of the man who abused her Mom. In boys, it obviously manifest in being the same type of abusive man he witnessed in his Dad.

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The bottom line. We must fully take the time to fully comprehend the masculine power we wield and our responsibility to use it wisely. When used foolishly and abusively, it is sufficient to negatively influence and continue another generation of pain and suffering through our children and our grandchildren.

MUSIC: AHIMSA by Russel Blake

 

 

truthful perceptions: times…

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Are you a Man or a Mannequin? Real men exemplify the substance of integrity abiding inside of them. Fake men are like the mannequins in a store.

Dressed fashionably well to attract others towards them, and yet cold to the touch and hollow on the inside from a lack of moral substance.

Real men clothed themselves with the vest of integrity each and everyday. Fake/abusive men don’t even realize how naked they are before the world regardless to how expensive their clothes are.  

Real men court, date, become engaged to and marry integrity for a lifetime. Fake/abusive men have already divorced themselves from the possibility of even knowing who she is.

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You can never step up as a Man, if you’re knocking down a Woman. You can never improve yourself as a Man, if you’re verbally abusing a Woman. You can never better yourself as a person and advance inspirational thoughts in others, by destroying the life of a Woman.

Integrity is a lifestyle, not a choice. It is not a demand, but a dialect of human language invisibly spoken in the form of a selfless love and respect for all life, especially the life of your wife/intimate partner. Most men have integrity genetically encoded in their DNA and will absolutely protect and defend all life. They never abuse women and behave as a moral leader in their home, at the workplace and most importantly when no one is watching.

Men of integrity behave this way at all times… 

truthful perceptions: begin…

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The best gift any Man can give to a Woman in this day and age is honesty. This can only be done by first being honest with our very own self. To daily evaluate our emotions, thoughts and experiences about the Women in our lives and to do it honestly and objectively, without any unfairness or prejudice, so that our examination will lend itself to the truth of how blessed we are as Men, to have the gift of Women amongst us.

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Domestic abuse perpetrated by a man on a woman is not an act of courage, but rather one of fear, cowardice and a inner insecurity of a male embryo; a child having never grown up and now existing in an adult male body.

In having no point of reference on proper interaction with a Woman, either by a multitude of circumstances or some other deep seated incident, the first step in the necessary change of an abuser from cowardice to courage, embryo to manhood, predator to protector and from being a divider to one who brings people together is first recognizing he has a problem, and with a subsequent inner and outer confession of pain, with God’s help, we will let the healing begin.  

truthful perceptions: police…

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Personally it doesn’t matter to me what occupation one does everyday.  It’s when the occupation be it a Priest committing sexual abuse against a child or a Police Officer repeatedly perpetrating domestic violence against a wife/intimate partner, makes their jobs stand out that much more because of the hypocrisy of it all. 

When an abuser who happens to be a cop can indiscriminately beat his wife over and again without any fear of arrest or legal consequence, you now have the worst of animals known to control and abuse women. He carries a gun, is empowered by the state and is protected by a blue wall of fellow officers that would sooner have his back than betray him.

Call the police — He is the police.
Go to a shelter — He knows where the shelters are located.
Have him arrested — Responding officers may invoke the code of silence.
Take him to court — It’s your word against that of an officer, and he knows the system.
Drop the charges — You could lose any future credibility and protection.
Seek a conviction — He will probably lose his job and retaliate against you.

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Two studies have found that at least 40 percent of police officer families experience domestic violence, in contrast to 10 percent of families in the general population. This makes it so much harder, yet not impossible for a victim to get away from her abuser. 

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Divorce and the family law system: It’s important to choose an attorney who is not intimidated by your abuser being an officer. Custody and visitation issues are often used to intimidate and manipulate you even after the divorce.

Surviving police domestic violence: The one thing your batterer fears is your discovery that you can make it on your own. Every step you take to protect your life, safety and freedom takes away some of his power. Thousands of women have survived leaving abusive relationships with police officers. You are not alone.

You can survive against an abuser, even if he is the police

24hr NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800.799.SAFE (7233)

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: stigma…

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Every minute, 20 people are physically abused by a romantic partner in the U.S., according to The Center for Disease Control numbers. This means as many as 10 million women and men experience physical abuse in a given year.

1o million people in a given year in just the U.S alone is a huge number, then when you multiply that by nations around the world that number easily reaches over 100 million. It’s an easy enough number to point to but not an easy subject to discuss. 

It makes many people uncomfortable and the awkwardness of even beginning the conversation leaves many stumped in knowing what to say. Were vulnerable as humans when it comes to discussing the ugliness of human behavior, but abuse cannot be normalised through silence. It must be brought to light in order to reverse the stigma that protects it. 

It must be talked about if were truly going to address this cancer to the culture and forget about the shame to the brain people try to avoid.  We cannot remain immune to the abuse of victims even in silence. The damage to one affects us all as a people. Stigmas prosper when good people do nothing. Don’t let it happen on your watch.

Speak Up Against Domestic Violence…!!!

Music: “Love Is Always On My Mind” – by Russel Blake.

truthful perceptions: hidden…

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There comes a time when shock is a word that’s just not appropriate enough to describe the feeling when a horrible revelation is made known to you. Something that’s been taking place right under your nose and all of a sudden it’s brought to your attention not by an email or a text message or even from a friend. It comes knocking at your door in the form of a uniformed police officer informing you that your daughter is dead.

From that point on everything that’s said comes across like the teacher speaking in the Charlie Brown cartoon, blah, blah….blah, blah, blah… The officer informs you she was apparently killed in a domestic violence incident involving her boyfriend. The forthcoming details begin to pale in comparison to the screams of agony now coming from her Mother and you as her Father can only stand there frozen in a mixture of emotions from sadness to grieving, anger to disappointment. If I only knew she was being abused is the thought rolling over and over in your mind…

Too many families find out all too late of a family member who was being abused by a husband, a boyfriend or even a work colleague. 

Domestic violence often plays out in the workplace. For instance, a husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend might make threatening phone calls to their intimate partner or ex-partner. Or the worker may show injuries from physical abuse at home.

If you witness a cluster of the following warning signs in the workplace, you can reasonably suspect domestic abuse:

Bruises and other signs of impact on the skin, with the excuse of “accidents”
Depression, crying
Frequent and sudden absences
Frequent lateness
Frequent, harassing phone calls to the person while they are at work
Fear of the partner, references to the partner’s anger
Decreased productivity and attentiveness
Isolation from friends and family
Insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)

Know the warning signs and learn to recognise all red flags of abusive behavior upon a potential victim. Never be to apprehensive to question nor too proud to believe it can’t happen to your loved one.

The worst feeling in the world is attending a funeral with an open casket of a loved one, when a timely intervention could have saved their life and brought to light that which was hidden.  

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Music: “Believe In God…” MEDITATIONS CD

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: daggers…

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Words can cut like a knife. My Dad always told me that a woman knows she’s not as physically strong as a man, so she uses her words to make all things equal. Interesting theory but when it comes to domestic violence both men and women equally use the tongue like a steel furnished machete. 

When wielded with anger and physical intimidation words have the power to cause emotional internal bleeding and severe psychological damage. No man worth his salt as a man of integrity does this. Only woman beaters do this when he’s yelling or using hate-filled whispers to threaten and terrify his wife/intimate partner.

Possibly the worst form of verbal abuse is the silent one. The use of the silent stare which is a code that his victim interprets with a knowing fear of what is to come.

Real men use words to build up and not tear down a woman’s self-esteem. Being accountable for your words is a measure of true integrity and a yardstick of good communication skills.  As the good book say’s, “sweet water and bitter water cannot come from the same fountain…” So choose your words wisely and season them with decency. 

No matter the time or the circumstances, when you use your words towards your wife/intimate partner for positive direction, devoted encouragement and heart-opening dedication, you’re empowering a woman who will now love you to the ends of the earth. 

I believe words were created to be used wisely to build up a person’s life with both healing and dignity; not as daggers to stab and destroy their spirit. 

Music: “God’s Peace…” by Russel Blake  

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