truthful perceptions: remembrance…

“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of laughter – Ecclesiastes 7:4…”

The holiday’s upon us brings a great deal of thought on self and family. For me, that dynamic raises my conscious thoughts on those families privately suffering from the absent physical presence of a daughter, mother, sister, cousin or aunty who was killed as a victim of domestic violence.

As I both feel and pray for them, I also do not forget the male who viciously took a precious life off of this earth. These are males who possess low emotional skills, that makes any attempt of a meaningful relationship with a woman highly problematic and with deadly consequences.

These are males who may possess a high IQ, but never took the time to raise a low EQ. Too often, the reason for this lies in the difference between how boys and girls are being raised, especially when in the same household.

Emotions are a very complex entity and when as a child and teenager (especially for boys) it’s left without guidance, mentorship and quality Q & A evolves from naturally complex to become extremely complicated. Negative emotions will then feed on different sources in society for direction and shape a mind already dealing with raging hormones and testosterone buildup.

In the absence of a positive male role model, the definition of masculinity becomes skewered and fractured in the eyes of that child. To paraphrase Frederick Douglas, “It is easier to raise healthy boys than to spend years repairing broken men…”

I close this writing with the sincerest condolences for the victim families of domestic violence, and the deepest respect for those victims whose lives were prematurely taken, some of them while they were pregnant with the killer’s baby.

We must revolutionize and re-galvanize our fight against this plague by addressing the invisible source of this violence. The insecurities and inability to manage anger is a result of low emotional intelligence coupled with a demonic influence.

Real masculinity is never defined or associated with being physically or sexually violent against a woman. However, it is a requirement of all Real Men who stand up against the males who commit these despicable acts.

Please click the link below and pray for the families of these victims this holiday season. Thank you.

https://www.essence.com/hot-topic-news/black-women-killed-for-saying-no#1007549

Music: “God’s Peace…” by Russel Blake

 

 

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truthful perceptions: lightning…


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There is no question about it. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a video raises awareness of a million voices. What is now the infamous Ray and Janay Elevator video has done more for victims of domestic violence than tens of thousand of articles and testimonies.

 As a domestic violence awareness advocate I am both ambiguous but vigilant, encouraged and yet concerned for the renewed flame of awareness dying out and then were back to business as usual.

 On the one hand the national resurgence of outrage, commentary and awareness has galvanized new blood and troops in this war against abusers. On the other hand it has taken the veil off to reveal the scourge of domestic abusers existing within the very heroes of athletes millions of us have cheered every week in the NFL, and exposed this as only symptomatic of a much larger problem in our society.

 In my upcoming book “Real Men Don’t Hit Women: 12 Principles of Effective Change Against Intimate Partner Violence…” I advocate that good men provide the best solution against the worst of men who practice intimate partner violence.

 Ironically or perhaps by a twist of fate the most macho of all sports has now served as the lightning rod to wake up real men everywhere to stand united and speak up against domestic abusers.

To expose these abusers for the cowards they are and perhaps for the first time in their lives it has also provided and opportunity of real empowerment for their victims to get out of a violent and abusive marriage/relationship.   It provides society the opportunity for another look at itself to address with more seriousness this plague of domestic violence.  

For example, why are their more animal shelters in this country than shelters for battered and abused women and their children?  Why isn’t this a priority for FEMA since domestic violence is now classified as a national crisis? 

 I am hopeful for real and lasting change by recent events and praying that lighting doesn’t have to strike twice in order to wake us up again.

 

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