truthful perceptions: remembrance…

“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of laughter – Ecclesiastes 7:4…”

The holiday’s upon us brings a great deal of thought on self and family. For me, that dynamic raises my conscious thoughts on those families privately suffering from the absent physical presence of a daughter, mother, sister, cousin or aunty who was killed as a victim of domestic violence.

As I both feel and pray for them, I also do not forget the male who viciously took a precious life off of this earth. These are males who possess low emotional skills, that makes any attempt of a meaningful relationship with a woman highly problematic and with deadly consequences.

These are males who may possess a high IQ, but never took the time to raise a low EQ. Too often, the reason for this lies in the difference between how boys and girls are being raised, especially when in the same household.

Emotions are a very complex entity and when as a child and teenager (especially for boys) it’s left without guidance, mentorship and quality Q & A evolves from naturally complex to become extremely complicated. Negative emotions will then feed on different sources in society for direction and shape a mind already dealing with raging hormones and testosterone buildup.

In the absence of a positive male role model, the definition of masculinity becomes skewered and fractured in the eyes of that child. To paraphrase Frederick Douglas, “It is easier to raise healthy boys than to spend years repairing broken men…”

I close this writing with the sincerest condolences for the victim families of domestic violence, and the deepest respect for those victims whose lives were prematurely taken, some of them while they were pregnant with the killer’s baby.

We must revolutionize and re-galvanize our fight against this plague by addressing the invisible source of this violence. The insecurities and inability to manage anger is a result of low emotional intelligence coupled with a demonic influence.

Real masculinity is never defined or associated with being physically or sexually violent against a woman. However, it is a requirement of all Real Men who stand up against the males who commit these despicable acts.

Please click the link below and pray for the families of these victims this holiday season. Thank you.

https://www.essence.com/hot-topic-news/black-women-killed-for-saying-no#1007549

Music: “God’s Peace…” by Russel Blake

 

 

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truthful perceptions: africa…

“African nations are failing the female population…” 

Only 21 out of 53 nations on the continent have laws against wife beating. In rural communities in Malawi, an older man of the community is appointed to be the “Village Hyena….” A term is given to a man whose responsibility is to open the door of sexuality to young girls and teenagers.

In KwaZulu Natal, South Africa young girls must undergo and pass virginal tests in order to qualify for a scholarship. In South Sudan, young girls are given to soldiers as sexual favors, which ultimately means forced rape.

These are just a few examples of an incredibly complex problem that spans ideologies, traditions, beliefs in witchcraft, corruption and decades of practices that prevent a narrow one size fits all solution. For example, there is a deep cultural belief in Nigeria that it is socially acceptable to hit and beat a woman to discipline a spouse.

Also, Nigerian women often face physical violence at the hands of their family members. The most common forms of physical violence include rape, murder, slapping, and kicking.

To challenge such deeply ingrained cultural beliefs has to begin with education in order to combat the ignorance that could frame such a practice in the first place.

When 90 percent of women polled in Guinea believe a man is justified in beating his wife (if she’s done something wrong), it illuminates the need for education on this matter. Education breeds negotiation and negotiation inspires assertiveness to combat violent behavior.

The news for the foreseeable future on the continent is not all bad. From South Africa to the Congo to Uganda, voices are now being raised to fight sexual and domestic violence against women.

Education and the literacy it induces hold the key for men and especially women to broaden their perspective to the reality of this form of violence, to embolden their opposition to it and become the lynchpin to reverse the past and change the future for the better for generations to come.

 

http://www.saartjiebaartmancentre.org.za

https://yali.state.gov/eight-ways-to-stop-violence-against-women/

https://www.wagggs.org/en/

Music ~ “AFRICA” by Russel Blake

 

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: spiritual…

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“Christian men are more likely to assault their wives…” This would be a quaint oxymoron were it not factual and the facts state that there is nothing quaint, cute or humorous about domestic violence.

How can a man claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ, the greatest iconic figure of love the world has ever known, while at the same time harbor within his soul a demonic influence in stark contradiction to that love?

Religion is defined as the pursuit of a particular system of beliefs and worship. Spiritual is defined as having a relationship based on a profound level of mental and emotional communion with God.

In other words, those men practicing the latter love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. He loves his wife as he loves himself and the two are one flesh and no man ever yet hated his own flesh. I contend that any man who calls and defines himself as a religious Christian yet verbally and physically assaults his wife on a daily basis subverts and undermines the Word of God.

I contend his definition of religion gives him an idea of the relationship between God and Man, yet he’s not practiced its fullness of demonstrating an understanding of the true meaning of love between a man and his wife/intimate partner. If a man claims to be Christian and is abusing his wife/intimate partner, then he is practicing a false religion and only fooling himself.

What greater opportunity for a man to practice a true meaning of his spirituality than to love his wife as he loves himself. 

Real repentance and courage must be the bridge by which a man goes from being a quasi-religious pimp to a full-time spiritual and anointed living Man. Let that courage become the new-found weapon that gives, teaches and edifies to a man an anointed spiritual deliverance, and forever banishes the old miserable demonic possessed wife beater. 

Now is the time for the religious-batterer of women to create the greatest possibility of rediscovering the new creature of Christ that he can only become, by walking the walk he talks every Sunday.

IJPN ~ In JESUS Precious Name.

Music ~ “Walk The Talk” by Russel Blake

truthful perceptions: virus…

A dislocated nose, busted ear drum, bruises, black eyes seem par for the course in beatings that lasted over four years for one noted survivor in Mobile County, Alabama. Her drug addicted husband had decided he was going to beat, abuse and bruise her when he was both high and not high and seemingly blaming her for both.

Had he not overdosed, her fate more likely than not would have fed the statistics of either homicide or homelessness caused by abuse. Battered women shelters now serve more children than they do women. It is estimated in some small cities in America, battered women’s shelters are more populated with children than the Children’s Hospitals in those cities.

There are so many causes of peril, sadness, disease and charity to support in this world. There truly is no excuse for us not to, other than for lack of trying. I AM aligned with three major causes. Stopping Gun Violence, The Alzheimer’s Association and Domestic Violence Awareness.

88 guns for every one hundred Americans and the insanity of needless deaths caused by them is my reason for stopping gun violence. Alzheimer’s disease ran rampant in my family taking the lives of six paternal Aunts and my maternal Grandfather. That is my reason in joining that cause.

Although there is never been an issue of domestic violence in my family, I AM motivated for just that reason. To know from experience that women are to be protected by men from the men who are true cowards for abusing them. As the bearers of our future it is critical to bring awareness and formulate solutions to the plague of domestic violence. In my mind there is no greater threat to civilized society than to ignore the virus of genocide domestic abuse produces.

Find A Domestic Violence Shelter By Zip Code:

https://www.domesticshelters.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: aid…

A leader is a person who takes action to better the lives of those under his/her influence. He takes the necessary time to reflect on those things essential to the quality of life of each and every individual. This should naturally lead him to utilise a variety of sources of power to employ compassion and apply the resources necessary to achieve harmony within the nation.

Sadly, the current president we have in the white house does not represent these values as a leader and based on his history with women is factually devoid and woefully impotent of them. By signing off on a draconian budget removing the legal resources that help aid victims of domestic violence, he shows the world his real character when it comes to protecting the women and children of this country.

Helping domestic violence survivors have access to legal protection would seem a no-brainer for obvious reasons, especially an organization like the Legal Services Corporation that provides this type of assistance to domestic violence victims and survivors in virtually every state. President trump is planning to defund the entire organization. All Americans truly interested in fighting back against this travesty should flood the telephone lines of their representatives in congress and the senate.

Raise holy hell on behalf of low-income victims of domestic violence who endure hell each and everyday and need all of the free legal assistance available. Let’s not simply sigh, moan and complain. Let’s stand up for victims and survivors, take action and fight!

https://theintercept.com/2017/03/20/donald-trump-plans-to-eliminate-legal-aid-funding-that-supports-survivors-of-domestic-violence/

Find Your Representative:  http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

 

 

 

 

 

 

truthful perceptions: times…

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Are you a Man or a Mannequin? Real men exemplify the substance of integrity abiding inside of them. Fake men are like the mannequins in a store.

Dressed fashionably well to attract others towards them, and yet cold to the touch and hollow on the inside from a lack of moral substance.

Real men clothed themselves with the vest of integrity each and everyday. Fake/abusive men don’t even realize how naked they are before the world regardless to how expensive their clothes are.  

Real men court, date, become engaged to and marry integrity for a lifetime. Fake/abusive men have already divorced themselves from the possibility of even knowing who she is.

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You can never step up as a Man, if you’re knocking down a Woman. You can never improve yourself as a Man, if you’re verbally abusing a Woman. You can never better yourself as a person and advance inspirational thoughts in others, by destroying the life of a Woman.

Integrity is a lifestyle, not a choice. It is not a demand, but a dialect of human language invisibly spoken in the form of a selfless love and respect for all life, especially the life of your wife/intimate partner. Most men have integrity genetically encoded in their DNA and will absolutely protect and defend all life. They never abuse women and behave as a moral leader in their home, at the workplace and most importantly when no one is watching.

Men of integrity behave this way at all times… 

truthful perceptions: begin…

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The best gift any Man can give to a Woman in this day and age is honesty. This can only be done by first being honest with our very own self. To daily evaluate our emotions, thoughts and experiences about the Women in our lives and to do it honestly and objectively, without any unfairness or prejudice, so that our examination will lend itself to the truth of how blessed we are as Men, to have the gift of Women amongst us.

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Domestic abuse perpetrated by a man on a woman is not an act of courage, but rather one of fear, cowardice and a inner insecurity of a male embryo; a child having never grown up and now existing in an adult male body.

In having no point of reference on proper interaction with a Woman, either by a multitude of circumstances or some other deep seated incident, the first step in the necessary change of an abuser from cowardice to courage, embryo to manhood, predator to protector and from being a divider to one who brings people together is first recognizing he has a problem, and with a subsequent inner and outer confession of pain, with God’s help, we will let the healing begin.  

truthful perceptions: protectors…

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Warriors are made and not born. No challenge as Men is greater in battle than what we face everyday in conquering ourselves. The first tactical advantage a warrior determines in facing his enemy is knowledge of his greatest weakness. You cannot defeat a thing until you assess its weakest point.  

Taking honest inventory of yourself should provide knowledge of your weakest points in areas of your life you honestly know need improvement, yet have procrastinated in taking the initiative to improve upon.

How we as Men have gone from being iconic soldiers bravely standing in place against any and all threats towards our beautiful Women, to now as abusers becoming the singular most imminent threat to their very life is mind boggling. The principle of self-control does not ask should we protect Women, it demands of us to do what is the most intelligent course of action in a given marriage, committed relationship or situation.

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How you see yourself is critical to this process of employing self-control. Any self-perception that would seek to justify any physically violent and/or verbally abusive behavior towards your wife/intimate partner is a self-perception devoid of intelligence. Simply put, there is never a justification for abuse.

As men we are protectors…

truthful perceptions: lightning…


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There is no question about it. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a video raises awareness of a million voices. What is now the infamous Ray and Janay Elevator video has done more for victims of domestic violence than tens of thousand of articles and testimonies.

 As a domestic violence awareness advocate I am both ambiguous but vigilant, encouraged and yet concerned for the renewed flame of awareness dying out and then were back to business as usual.

 On the one hand the national resurgence of outrage, commentary and awareness has galvanized new blood and troops in this war against abusers. On the other hand it has taken the veil off to reveal the scourge of domestic abusers existing within the very heroes of athletes millions of us have cheered every week in the NFL, and exposed this as only symptomatic of a much larger problem in our society.

 In my upcoming book “Real Men Don’t Hit Women: 12 Principles of Effective Change Against Intimate Partner Violence…” I advocate that good men provide the best solution against the worst of men who practice intimate partner violence.

 Ironically or perhaps by a twist of fate the most macho of all sports has now served as the lightning rod to wake up real men everywhere to stand united and speak up against domestic abusers.

To expose these abusers for the cowards they are and perhaps for the first time in their lives it has also provided and opportunity of real empowerment for their victims to get out of a violent and abusive marriage/relationship.   It provides society the opportunity for another look at itself to address with more seriousness this plague of domestic violence.  

For example, why are their more animal shelters in this country than shelters for battered and abused women and their children?  Why isn’t this a priority for FEMA since domestic violence is now classified as a national crisis? 

 I am hopeful for real and lasting change by recent events and praying that lighting doesn’t have to strike twice in order to wake us up again.

 

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truthful perceptions: discernment

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As a man, you are not here to set the world right, but to see it rightly. When to judge a situation rightly is to know what triggers your anger, your fear and your jealous emotions and then immediately stop, intervene with replacing negative images and stop the pattern of habitual behavior you would normally do.

You have the ability and the obligation to judge a situation rightly. This principle is most important and exists especially in situations where you may have been legitimately wronged and have all the evidence you need to prove it.

Give no opportunity for yourself to be influenced, coerced, pushed, persuaded, triggered, pressured, brainwashed and angered to become physically and/or verbally violent with your wife/intimate partner.

Use whatever negative situations that may arise as an opening to practice right judgment over your own actions. Always remember that you have control over no one but yourself.

#ManUpToNoDomesticViolence

Russelblake7 on Twitter

http://www.russelblake.net

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